Rehab in the deep south.....(part 2)
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Major Adjustment
I still needed help with all my activities of daily living. That includes bathing, meal preparation, and later driving. I’m now 35, self- catherizing and wearing Depends for additional protection. I progressed from the occasional cane to a walker to a wheelchair to a motorized power chair. The worst for me though was when the doctor said due to potential muscle spasms in my extremities, “No driving.” AHHHHHHHHH!
Hearing those words endangered the core of who I knew myself to be. No independence. No privacy. I miss grabbing my keys, slamming the car door shut and going wherever I needed to go, by myself! The loss of my driving privileges has destroyed my sense of self. It's the most primal thing I bemoan. People treat me differently. I hate needing help. And, sadly, I find myself resenting those who
offer help and strangely enough those that don’t too!
I've come a long way, I'm mostly using my arms! That's my caregivers' voice you hear.
Stubborn
In all honesty, I was not surprised. The last time I drove, I remember manually lifting my right foot and placing it on the accelerator. Scary and maladaptive! Still, the idea of ceasing to drive barely crossed the landscape of my mind. I had to drive. At that time, I didn’t see any other option.
I can remember in those earlier “uneventful” ten years when I was again suffering from problems with my eyesight. I had become transiently color blind. I couldn’t decipher the colors on the traffic signals. At intersections I tended to follow the ebb and flow of traffic. When the car next to me slowed to a stop, so did I! When they sped off again, so didOptic Neuritis
National MS Society
It’s the loss of control that is most difficult to succumb to. I guess it has been at the center of many conflicts. I came home one day and found that my mother had washed my sheets, made the bed and was proceeding to vacuum the room I sleep in. I was livid! Later when I was recanting this story to a fellow MSer, she reminded me that it is excruciating for our parents to watch us go through this, especially knowing there is very little that they can do. Sometimes cleaning is the only thing she can offer.
“She’s not trying to alienate you. She’s trying to help you! Now stop being a prick and grow up!” my friend with MS scolded.
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Thanks for your comment. I have one last installment to this series. Wow, that was from the heart and thank you for coming along this ride with me! I wish you the best with your dad! Nicole
Great blog Nicole. Keep it up!
I'm in the process of reading all your hubs.
You are such an inspiration to me,I was told that I would be using a aparatus to walk in 5 years. They showed me the 4-prong cane as a visual. I went straight into denial.
I started walking more,swimming more anything to keep it moving.Yeah some days I can't get it together,some days my legs feel like lead poles but as you know everything is easier in the water.Water aerobics have helped tremendously.
With that being said Jan will be the 7th year of my diagnosis and I'm not using any aparatus. I know it may come but I'm going to keep it moving even if it does.
Keep hubbing lady,it's truly needed.Not just for me but for many of us.
Peace and Blessings!
Rastamermaid, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. It's hard sometimes. Some days are good and somedays I just cry. Now, when something is really bothering me .....I write. Then afterwards I may cry a little more. But, I feel a better!
I am also in process of reading all of your hubs, you are a very good writer :)
Thanks!! That's for taking this ride! Oh, would did you think of that swim!!
ahpokins 19 months ago
thank you
my father has fybromyalga, and although it is a different illness, it hhas similat effects in some way. he has always had trouble explaining to his family how he feels. i had some idea of what he was thinking about this, but it helps to see it in words. thank you for doing what my father cant.
good hub